You’ve probably heard a lot about this concept lately: toxic positivity. Many people are talking about it, rolling their eyes at it (not this again!), or scratching their heads in confusion (am I doing it?). So what is toxic positivity anyway?
Toxic positivity refers to managing emotions in a dysfunctional way, without entirely acknowledging (and therefore feeling or processing) unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions (commonly mislabeled as negative emotions). It’s a very subtle form of gaslighting.
It seems there’s a general pressure to be happy all the time, otherwise, what’s wrong with you? You know what I’m talking about: “Stop worrying, everything is going to be okay”, “You need to snap out of it”, “Try seeing the good side”, “It could always be worse, at least be grateful for that”, “Don’t ruin my day/vibe with your negativity” and the award-winning “Stop being sad/angry/upset”.
In the workplace, toxic positivity is all about promoting a happy sunshiny attitude, while ignoring problems, avoiding conversations to avoid conflict, and underestimating or belittling mental health issues. Here are some examples of situations where toxic positivity may creep into the workplace.
Pretending everything is fine because there are worse places and the perks are pretty good, even though those few issues bother you enough to impact your motivation. As an employer, you avoid bringing up performance issues with your employees because they do some other things well.
Feeling like you can’t bring up certain topics or issues because you don’t want to sound negative or you want to avoid potential conflict. You don’t feel safe bringing them up, so you keep them bottled up and you distance yourself slowly.
Minimizing or ignoring negative feedback and not implementing any corrective actions where needed. In the end, everything stays the same, which leads to more frustration and to the belief that feedback doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change anything anyway.
In the long run, a falsely positive attitude in the workplace, based on ignoring and dismissing unpleasant situations/conversations and only looking at the bright side of things can lead to a lack of motivation, feeling disconnected from your tasks and your colleagues, feeling like an outcast, the bad guy/girl in the office (Everyone else seems okay but me, I’m the problem!), feeling pressure or shame and eventually burnout.
During the three hours I spent with the Digitalee team for the Toxic Positivity workshop I organized, we discussed the differences between toxic positivity and a positive mindset, and then the team came up with real-life examples from the office or from their personal lives or situations where they were unsure if toxic positivity was present. We went on to discuss some of the biases that enrich our days and sometimes contribute to a negative attitude and lack of motivation and finally, some positive psychology tools to navigate conflict, issues, and any uncomfortable situations as useful resources to replace toxic positivity. All in all, it was a helpful experience both for the team, as they got to ask and clarify many questions, and for myself, as I got to discover how versatile toxic positivity is in the workplace.
If you are interested in bringing the Toxic Positivity workshop to your organization, please find relevant information below.
Having your struggles ignored or minimized and being met with false enthusiasm and motivation. For example, instead of receiving assistance when you’re struggling with a task, you’re told “I know you can do it, you just need to work harder and you’ll get it eventually”. You might see this as motivating you to push yourself harder (no pressure there!), but fast-forward to the probability that you don’t eventually get it and you start thinking that maybe you’re unskilled, incompetent, or stupid. – Marieta Arminda Andrei, Mindset CoachOf course, nobody feels motivated or energized in an environment where everyone complains all the time and negativity is lying around to spare. But there is a difference between toxic positivity and a positive (growth) mindset. Here are some of them.
Toxic positivity | Positive (growth) mindset |
Everything will be ok. | Whatever the issue is, we will find the best course of action |
Problem-squashing | Problem-solving |
Everything is fine | It’s important to know if something isn’t okay so we can adjust accordingly |
Superficial attitude toward conflict, emotions, individuality | A safe environment to share and problem-solve together |
Don’t ruin my day/vibe with your negativity | Listening and considering the feelings of the other person (while setting boundaries) |
- Duration: 3 hours for up to 10 participants. Duration increases with the number of participants due to the practical and Q&A part.
- Price: 35 euro/participant
- Included: presentation, printed materials
Post A Comment